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Anti funimation

[FUNimation's Website][News Letter #1][News Letter #2]
[From FUNimation's FAQ][An Interview with Satan and his Wife]
[All-New 5" Dragonball Action Figures Announced][Interview with Gen][FUNimation FAQ]

Found October 21, 1999 on FUNimation's website:

Dragon Ball Z is a great example of this. FUNimation produced Dragon Ball Z, which hit the number one rating for syndicated children's series in the USA. FUNimation chose this property (it's not a show to FUNimation, It's property!) for it is the flagship property (once again!) of TOEI Animation, the Walt Disney of Asia. Most people consider Dragon Ball Z the very best of "anime" which is very popular in the USA. It has fantastic artwork created by the world famous Akira Toriyama (which we took it apon ourselves to destroy), an in-depth storyline (torn apart by horrid background music and retarded scripts), and endearing characters (whose totally unbelievable voice actors also make a mockery of).

FUNimation elected to spend a great deal of time and money on the reversioning (reversioning- v. ruining or destroying) of the 66(6?) episodes and 4 specials - painting frames (with silly bouncing paint... wee!) instead of cutting, artfully (artfully- adv. when used in this context means "shittily" or "stupidly"; see also; reversioning) rewriting the scripts, hiring quality voice talent (well, the highest quality that 50 cents an hour will buy), etc. As a result, Dragon Ball Z was chosen by TV Guide as one of their ten best new kids (note the "kids" here, we don't want people over 7 to watch, otherwise it would be too popular!) shows and has generated great ratings not only among kids but among teens/young adults as well (despite our best efforts to dumb it down!). FUNimation syndicated the series via Saban Domestic Distribution (AKA Satan) for the 1996/97 and 1997/98 seasons and has the distinction of having the only non-Saban (AKA non-Satan) product distributed by Saban (AKA Satan). Because of the huge popularity of children's cable networks, FUNimation (AKA Satan) has distributed Dragon Ball Z (AKA Satan's red headed step child) for the 1998/99 season on Cartoon Network - the fastest growing children's network - as a strip in their premium time slot of 5 p.m. Eastern Time every weekday.

Licensing is also going well for Dragon Ball Z with many products already on the market including a top selling Animayhem game, trading cards that continually sell out (and have gone out of print!), and t-shirts that are best sellers for the corporation manufacturing them (we can't really remember who it is... hmm). Irwin Toy Ltd., the largest toy manufacturer in Canada, holds the master toy license and already has over $9 million worth of Dragon Ball Z molds available (which look more like Scooby Doo than DBZ). The Dragon Ball Z home video released earlier this year climbed to number 18 on Billboards Best Selling Video list (Because of the GREAT voice talents and the ARTFUL scripts we just didn't have the heart to take #1). Various promotions have enhanced the value of the property (none of the following ever happened...) such as a brochure that went out in McDonald's Happy Meals featuring Dragon Ball Z action figures, a joint promotion with Sony/Square Soft where Dragon Ball Z was promoted in each of their new Tobol games, cross promotions with licensees and promotions at events such as Japan Expo and anime conventions.

(In closing, we here at FUNimation have decided that Dragonball Z is an excellent money maker and nothing more. Please feel free to sell your souls to the devil on the way out. Thank you!)

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